Roflcakes and candy

My dog, Sex
[I don't know who Ann Landers is, but she apparently wrote this article.]
Everybody who has a dog calls him ``Rover'' or ``Boy''. I call mine ``Sex''. He's a great pal but he causes me a great deal of embarrassment. When I went to the city hall to renew his dog licence, I told the clerk I would like a licence for Sex. He said ``I'd like one too!'' Then I said ``But this is a dog.'' He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said ``You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years old.'' He winked and said ``You must have been quite a kid.''``When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for us and a special room for Sex.'' The clerk told me we wouldn't need a separate room; as long as we paid the bills they didn't care what we did. ``Look, you don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.'' The clerk said ``Funny, I have the same problem.''One day I entered Sex in a contest but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own ticket. ``But you don't understand. I had planned to have Sex on TV.'' He said ``Now that cable is around, it's no big deal any more.''``When my spouse and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said: ``Your Honour, I had Sex before I was married.'' The judge replied ``The courtroom is not a confessional. Stick to the case please.'' Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said ``Me too.''Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked ``What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?'' I told him I was looking for Sex. My case comes up Friday.


Credits : Ann Landers